Cut to scene: It is 1938 in Salzburg, Austria and you are a
guest at an extravagant party. The Captain has decided to welcome the Baroness,
Elsa Schraeder, to the VonTrapp family in full flair. Luxurious evening gowns,
champagne and ambient chatter fill the usually orderly home. As the evening
winds down, the Captains’ seven children gather together and sing a melodious
song…‘So Long Farewell’. They charm the audience with their talent and innocent
humor as they gracefully bid the audience adieu. One by one the long goodbye
begins…
These last few years have been littered with goodbyes. I
suppose our long goodbye began the day we decided to become nomads and left
Canada. The moment Ken decided to pursue his PhD was the moment that changed
the path we were on. We had a house, I had a great job, and our friends and
family were close by. What this decision meant was that there would be several
moves in our future and several blank chapters that we would need to fill. Albeit, everyone has unknowns in life, but consciously
choosing them over the stability we had seemed slightly absurd.
With all of these unknowns, this leap of faith would require
first saying goodbye to some sense of security and familiarity. Despite being a
great career move for Ken, there is still something intrinsic that pleads for
comfort. Maybe this is a ‘woman thing’, but abandoning these ideals seemed to
go against the fiber of my being. And yet, the door was open and the sound of
regret echoed louder than our fears.
When we arrived in Florida we knew that it would not be our
permanent home and despite this awareness, we put down roots. It was a time to
meet new people, form lifelong friendships, travel and follow our passions in
careers we loved. Despite the challenges we faced (and there were some – moving
countries can get messy logistically), I can’t help but look at that time as
one of the greatest times of growth personally and within our marriage.
And then one day the clock started ticking and just like the
Von Trapp children, one by one our long goodbyes began.
Clearly we saw this coming, it was no surprise. We had known
for five years that this was not a permanent move, but it did not make the
goodbyes any easier. Ken had finished his PhD – our time was up. We affectionately
refer to the last few months in Gainesville as our ‘Farewell Tour’. The
intentional get-togethers, the goodbye work parties, the trips to friends’
hometowns, the ‘Last Supper’… these were unapologetically difficult, but also
affirmed that our lives are so much richer for being on this journey.
And just when we thought the tour had ended, the encore
played. We were home for the summer before our move to Europe and little Gretel
had her final solo. It was the sweetest goodbye of them all.
So here we are, on the tail end of another emotional roller
coaster and in the midst of a life full of adventure, chaos and unknowns. I am
however, blessed beyond words and would not change a thing. Recently, I have thought a lot about goodbyes. Life is full of them, and should be embraced as something
that is at times inevitable. Dare I say, some goodbyes may even be a good thing?
I have said goodbye to many things in my life besides people: bad habits, hair colors,
Florida cockroaches in our apartment!… but if I am indifferent towards something,
this is when I question my heart. To say goodbye to dear friends and family and
not feel anything would place very little value on the relationship. So, I
suppose the many tears I’ve shed in the last few months is truly a testament of the joy and thankfulness I feel.
The question is, are all of these goodbyes worth it?
Absolutely.
I have a heart bursting with gratitude for the opportunities
we’ve been given, the friendships we’ve made and the family that gives us the
freedom to follow our calling.
