Paralysis by analysis. This is a phrase that typically
describes my husband, but when it comes to my blog I have succumbed to the same
fate.
I have reverted to the fear of pressing ‘post’ to any of my half written entries.
Why? Well, (upon analysis) there has been a lot going on in
the last few months since I've last posted. There was a fire in our house in Canada –
accidentally set by our tenants, my parents came to visit or three weeks, mother’s
day came and went which proved to be much harder than I expected given our
miscarriage last year… I suppose I have just felt that either it’s not ‘positive
enough’ or I’m too busy. But I am calling myself out on both of these
falsehoods. Firstly, I stated in my first post that my intent is to share the
good and the bad, given I may need some time to process the difficult. The fear
of not having seen the silver lining yet is frustrating to me. I want to write
from the ‘other side’ but the reality is that sometimes it’s the process that
provides the means to the ‘other side’. Secondly, I have the time. My head
simply gets in the way.
"I want to write from the‘other side' but the reality is that sometimes it’s the process that provides the means to the ‘other side’"
These past few months have had some significant highs and
lows. I have had the intention of centering myself and taking this season of forced unemployment to truly explore and
discover my passions. Ask myself where my gifts lie and how can I use them to
fulfill my purpose here on earth. But here I am amidst a whirlwind of glorious
distractions and challenging circumstances grappling to process things as
quickly as I can. It’s mentally exhausting.
The appeal of an EASY
LIFE seems to be tugging at my heart lately and I find myself longing for
these trials to be over. But this is life, my beautifully messy, wonderfully blessed
life.
I am here now, I am present now and I am doing my best to
see the beauty in the moments.
So, I promise to stop analyzing my thoughts to death and
simply share life because despite the fear, the chaos
and the distractions, I am constantly reminded that life is good. It is very, very good.
