“We come to love
not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person
perfectly.”
-Sam Keen
Marriage. It can be
the most beautiful example of love, selflessness and respect one could
encounter in their lifetime. However, it also reflects our deepest insecurities
and the ugliest flaws in our character.
This past week, Ken and I celebrated our seventh year of
marriage, although we have been together now for more than twelve. When I think
back to myself as the naïve 18 year old girl accepting a ride home from the boy
down the street with a car, did I have any understanding of how important Ken
would become to me? Did I realize how our lives would intertwine in ways I
couldn’t imagine? That we would become jealous for one another, love each other
deeper and hurt each other greater than we could have known?
Of course not.
No one tells you (unless you’re that uncle who leans in
during the receiving line at your wedding foreshadowing that the gold ring on
your finger will only get heavier…)
And guess what? It is heavier. It is heavier because of the
weight of experiences we've shared, struggles we have overcome and the relentless
love that always brings us back.
Our marriage is beautiful, anything but perfect, and I
wouldn’t have it any other way.
We have shared more life experiences than many face in their
entire lives. As a result, we have been forced to grow quicker and that
inevitably, causes some growing pains. The delicate act of failing and
forgiving and embracing is never an easy task. It hurts and it’s messy and it’s
painful. But I’m failing and forgiving and embracing alongside my best friend
who’s doing the exact same. It’s a lovely dance that will continue. We pick eachother up, encourage one another and love through the process. This, I believe,
is the truest expression of love between us.
Before we were engaged I had questions, our personalities
are quite opposite and it concerned me that it may cause more of a rift than an
appreciation. We process things differently, we ‘recharge’ differently, and we
have different ideas and thoughts on issues. I realize it is completely cliché to
say, but life would be boring with someone exactly like you. I may not
understand all the scientific jargon Ken uses, but the joy I get when I see his
face light up when an experiment goes right is pretty fantastic. It’s the
reflection I see at times when Ken talks about my passions. He may not fully
understand, but seeing one another thriving fuels our relationship and
celebrates our differences.
Marriage is work, but nothing worth having comes easy right?
This work is the rewarding kind. The frustratingly slow kind. The inside joke
kind. The “I’ve got your back” kind. The make-up kind (even if it takes a
while).
The F O R E V E R kind….
The F O R E V E R kind….
