January typically brings about a time of reflection. A
chance to turn a page and decidedly not look back on the previous 12 months, or
an opportunity to reflect on the good and
the bad with a heart of gratefulness.
Looking back on my year brings about many mixed emotions.
2014 held heartbreak, grief, gratefulness, change, loss, challenges and joy. To
say that it was an emotional roller coaster would be an utter understatement
(and I am NOT a fan of roller coasters to begin with)!
This past year Ken finished his PhD, we suffered a
miscarriage, we left our home, my career and dear friends in Florida and moved
to an entirely new country in Europe, not knowing the language or the culture. If you can read between the lines, there
was enough in one year to span several and I would still consider it to be
overwhelming.
Yet, through all of the craziness there was a quieting of my
heart encouraging me to be still. Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).
Just be still. Don’t try and ‘fix’ things, don’t fill the silence with nonsense, do not be anxious. It's okay to feel and just be still.
This year has brought me through trials that have
tested my faith, my health, my marriage, my confidence and my patience. And behind
every trial was a calmness and a quietness to wait. Be patient. Be still.
It’s in my nature to immediately jump up and try and fix
everything, plan everything, do something, anything to find a solution. But
this year I found myself, despite the whirling circumstances around us to just
be still.
And even when things were going well, enjoying time with our
friends and family I was also encouraged to be still. Be still and cherish
these moments. Be still, don’t rush this time, be present where I am right now.
I didn't seek out a resolution to pursue peace and yet
through this year of incredible sorrow and joy, uncertainty, change and
adventure, a life full of new distractions I am reminded to continually be still.
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