A Season of Paralysis of Analysis

Paralysis by analysis. This is a phrase that typically describes my husband, but when it comes to my blog I have succumbed to the same fate.

I have reverted to the fear of pressing ‘post’ to any of my half written entries.

Why? Well, (upon analysis) there has been a lot going on in the last few months since I've last posted. There was a fire in our house in Canada – accidentally set by our tenants, my parents came to visit or three weeks, mother’s day came and went which proved to be much harder than I expected given our miscarriage last year… I suppose I have just felt that either it’s not ‘positive enough’ or I’m too busy. But I am calling myself out on both of these falsehoods. Firstly, I stated in my first post that my intent is to share the good and the bad, given I may need some time to process the difficult. The fear of not having seen the silver lining yet is frustrating to me. I want to write from the ‘other side’ but the reality is that sometimes it’s the process that provides the means to the ‘other side’. Secondly, I have the time. My head simply gets in the way.

"I want to write from the‘other side' but the reality is that sometimes it’s the process that provides the means to the ‘other side’"

These past few months have had some significant highs and lows. I have had the intention of centering myself and taking this season of forced unemployment to truly explore and discover my passions. Ask myself where my gifts lie and how can I use them to fulfill my purpose here on earth. But here I am amidst a whirlwind of glorious distractions and challenging circumstances grappling to process things as quickly as I can. It’s mentally exhausting.

The appeal of an EASY LIFE seems to be tugging at my heart lately and I find myself longing for these trials to be over. But this is life, my beautifully messy, wonderfully blessed life.

I am here now, I am present now and I am doing my best to see the beauty in the moments.

So, I promise to stop analyzing my thoughts to death and simply share life because despite the fear, the chaos and the distractions, I am constantly reminded that life is good. It is very, very good.