A Season of Surrender

Every year there seems to be a theme to my life…

I typically don’t start out the year with a word or phrase in mind, but as the year unfolds there is always something that is brought to the forefront. A reoccurring theme that permeates throughout the events of the last 12 months.

This year, the word surrender has continually been brought to my mind. Surrender. On several occasions I have waved the white flag in order to….

Surrender to some pretty intense life circumstances (think house fire set by the tenant of the home you own in Canada). 

Surrender to the changes your body endures as you expect the arrival of your little one. Not to mention your new limitations and the body image issues that come with.

Surrender to the fact that you will never please some people regardless how hard you try.... and understanding that forgiveness and reconciliation are two very different things.

Surrender to the fears, the stresses, the worries, the unknowns.

Surrender to the outpouring of love as people have come alongside us this past year. The humbleness of accepting some much appreciated help, random phone calls, letters and even visits across the ocean.

And this is my struggle, to continually surrender, placing my pride aside, my desire to fix and resolve.

Sometimes just to be and to allow the emotions to flood my soul is what I ultimately needed. There is strength and beauty in surrendering. There is freedom and release and growth when you let go of your expectations.
One of my favourite hymns has been a much welcomed broken record in my heart this past year – ‘I Surrender All’. It has been such a peace and comfort.

Obviously, surrendering is not code for ‘giving up’, by all means we have worked harder and prayed harder this year than we have before. But, what I have learned is that there is a delicate dance of surrendering and accepting the fact that some things will just be and it is ultimately the level of grace in which I react to these things that determine my peace.